Sweet Misery
by Race122VE
Summary: A frustrated Fred goes to someone and discovers not only what she truely wants, but also who she really wants. W/F, G/F


1 Sweet Misery  
  
By – Colleen "Coll", Forker18@aol.com  
  
Teaser: Fred gets fed up and goes to someone who eventually makes her realize not only what she truly wants, but also whom she truly wants.  
  
Genre: Angel: The Series, Romance  
  
Pairing: Wesley/Fred, Gunn/Fred  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Distribution: Sure, why not, just ask!  
  
Spoilers: Takes place after "A New World." Doesn't really give anything else away.  
  
Special Thanks to: All the Forkers (Especially those @ the fanforum board! Love you guys! To name a few: Sam, Moonie, and Rogue who always show me support.) and everyone @ FF.net for reviewing my fics!  
  
Author's Note: I have to thank the episode of "Felicity" that was on the other night, the one with Jennifer Garner that was on May 8th. It inspired me, as well as "Sweet Misery" by Michelle Branch (who's my hero). It's the title of the fic obviously, not sure if it fits, but that's the title.  
  
2 Sweet Misery  
  
"Hey."  
  
It was a simple enough word, but the levels that it could lead to, the possibilities; Wesley was taken back by the immensity of the simple word. "Fred." He responded. Not the best or most original response, but it was a wonder he could talk.  
  
She shifted nervously where she stood. "Ah'm…um, Ah just…," Fred began softly while her nervousness brought out her Texan accent. "Ah know what you told Gunn about coming here and what I said to you at the hospital- "  
  
"Do you need something?" Wesley interjected. If he hadn't, she might have gone on for quiet a bit, however he wished it hadn't come out as forceful as it did. "I need someone to talk to, Wesley," she admitted. "I had no where else to go…no one would listen…"  
  
Wesley held the door open and stepped aside. Fred forced a smile on her face as she crossed her arms and entered. As she past, he noticed her eyes drifted to his neck. He closed the door lightly and turned. She was looking over his apartment.  
  
It was a mess.  
  
"I apologize about the mess," he said as he moved past her and shuffled some of his papers that were scattered over his couch. "Please, sit." Fred looked back at him with hesitant eyes. "Fred…"  
  
"I feel horrible, Wesley," she confessed. "Coming here when I wasn't there for you when you were released from the hospital…I'm a horrible person."  
  
Wesley walked over to her and touched her arm lightly. "No, that's not true," he insisted. "I won't lie, it hurt…but you're different Fred."  
  
She looked up into his eyes, a shocked expression had settled into her face. He pursed his lips and gently grabbed her arm, leading her over to the couch. He sat first and she slowly lowered herself down.  
  
Wesley couldn't help but notice how her knees slightly touched his due to the way they sat. "I'm different?" she echoed. Wesley licked his lips and nodded. "You've always been different to me," he admitted. "However, we should be talking about you're problem."  
  
She sighed, a heavy, lonely sigh. "You're kinda part of it," she told him. "I mean, Ch-Gunn keeps yelling at me, telling me to stop hoping for you, stop bringing you up." Wesley listened intently, his mouth hanging open slightly.  
  
He snapped it shut and waited for her to continue. "Well, not really yelling, but…" she corrected as she looked up into his eyes. "I just want things back the way they were…is that wrong?"  
  
"Not at all," he answered immediately. "I think deep down it's what we all want." "Then why the hell is it so hard for us to get back there?" she asked with a passionate force.  
  
Her hand and reached over and grabbed his in the process of her outburst. Fred's mere touch sent waves through him. He was mesmerized by her action, and she caught him looking down at their hands.  
  
"I'm sorry." She whispered as she pulled her hand back.  
  
"No, it's nothing…" Wesley trailed off. It was a complete lie though because her touch meant everything. "No, Wesley," she corrected him after a minute. "It is something. I've been thinking about you a lot lately. It's the reason why Gunn's bein the way he is, ad Cordelia is fed up with me.  
  
"I never realized how much I miss you."  
  
Wesley opened his mouth. He had every intention of speaking, but something just kept the words from coming out. "Fred…" he began, but she was closing the distance between them.  
  
Her hand had reached up and rested on his cheek before she brought her lips to his. Wesley's first reaction was to pull back; but his shocked, wide eyes soon drifted shut, and his hands found their way to her hair.  
  
Fred pulled back with wide eyes, her mind obviously buzzing with thought, but then she sighed and kissed him again.  
  
A deep, long, passionate kiss.  
  
Thoughts poured into his head as he kissed her back. Was this real? Was she finally feeling what he had felt for her for so long? Or was this all to hurt Gunn? He tried to pull himself away, to talk to her, and see if this was a rational action.  
  
But Fred wouldn't let him.  
  
Her hands were roaming over his body, and they stopped roaming and began to fumble…with the buttons of his shirt. He had to stop. Wes grabbed her hands and pulled away from her. "Fred…"  
  
"What's the matter?" she interrupted. "This is what you wanted…me, us…together." "I know what I said, but…" he trailed off, not really sure how to put it. "A part of me can't help but think you're doing this because you're upset with Gunn."  
  
"I'm doing this because deep down, I've been missing you," she responded. "And also cause kissing you feels good." Her lips were back on his, and her hands immediately went to his shirt.  
  
Wesley believed her, not only because he desperately wanted to, but also because she said it with such sincerity. She had finished with the buttons, and slid his shirt off of his body.  
  
Fred pulled back, admiring his slightly muscular frame. However he was ashamed, especially when her hand touched his scars. She looked into his eyes before sliding her shirt over her head, revealing her bra and bare, beautiful stomach, and tossing it aside.  
  
Wesley swallowed down the lump that was growing in his throat. Fred smiled at his before wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down on top of her. He held himself over her for a bit before bringing his lips down on hers.  
  
A moan escaped from her throat as Wesley kissed her jaw line and moved down to her neck. Her hands that were running through his hair suddenly stopped. They moved to his shoulders and pushed him up and off of her neck. Looking into her eyes, he knew what she was thinking and hung his head.  
  
"You said you wanted this." He whispered in a bitter tone. She slid out from underneath him and rested her back against the armrest. "I did," she replied. "No, I mean…I do, so badly Wesley…it's just-"  
  
"Gunn." He said throatily as he hung his head.  
  
She avoided his eyes and nodded. "I'm so sorry, Wesley," she told him quietly. "I thought this is what I wanted, but…I love him."  
  
Why hadn't she just reached into his chest and ripped his heart out? Oh, wait, she did that. When he looked back up, Fred had pulled her shirt on and was heading for the door.  
  
She opened it and looked back at him. "I didn't mean to hurt you," she confessed. "I thought I wanted something else, but what I really want is our family back."  
  
With that, she left. He felt his heart pounding in his chest, beating for her. His hand ran over the fabric where she had lay. The anger inside him grew and he ran his hand over the coffee table, sending his papers flying everywhere.  
  
Wesley buried his face in his hands, fighting the tears that were trying to force themselves out. He looked back at the table with a sniff and his eyes settled on one thing.  
  
The book Lilah had dropped off.  
  
The knock didn't tear his eyes away from the book. The second knock did. He rose to his feet and took a deep breath before pulling the door open a few inches. "Bloody hell." He muttered when he saw who was standing on the other end.  
  
"Hello Wesley." Lilah said with a devilish smile.  
  
~*~  
  
Gunn took the wrong approach and he knew it.  
  
He had come in here an hour ago, waiting for her to get back so he could beg for her forgiveness. Gunn had confronted her about Wesley. He told her to tell him what she was really getting at every time she brought Wes up. Fred didn't get it.  
  
How could she? She couldn't feel his heart tighten every time she mentioned Wesley. It made sense to him though, her attraction to him. They had more in common, you know, that whole smart thing.  
  
Maybe Gunn should have taken another approach. No, he definitely should have taken another approach. Not only did he yell at her and tell her it was no use calling Wes; he acted like a jealous fool.  
  
Gunn, who was sitting at the edge of Fred's bed, fell back and sighed. What if he messed it up? What if she came back and said there was no way they'd be OK again? What would he do without her?  
  
The phone in his coat pocket rang and buzzed. Gunn straightened up and pulled it out. He flipped it open and said in a low tone, "Hello."  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Fred," he cried out. "Oh, God…Fred…" "How are you?" she asked him. A smile spread across his face. "I've been better," he replied. "How was your night?" There was a long pause before Fred sucked some air in and replied.  
  
"It sucked."  
  
"Yeah, I know that." he agreed. There was a long pause before Gunn sighed. "Fred? You still there?" "Yeah, I'm here…sorry," she said immediately. "Just good to hear your voice."  
  
Gunn opened his mouth to respond, but there was a knock at Fred's door. "Hang on a sec." He muttered into the phone as he jumped up and pulled the door open.  
  
There she was, her phone up to her ear, and a small smile on her face as she looked up at him. "I'm on hold." She told him. Gunn hung up his phone and slid it back into his pocket.  
  
Fred hung hers up and played with the antenna in her hands. "I went to Wesley's tonight, Charles," she confessed quickly. "I'm sorry, but I was so angry with you, and I was so confused-"  
  
"Did something happen between you two?" he interrupted. There was a sudden pain in his heart and an image of Wesley and Fred together that he wanted out of his head.  
  
"Well, I kissed him, Charles," she said quietly. "But it only made me realize how much I love you and why I was always bringing up Wesley…"  
  
Fred's voice began to fade as his mind focused on her and the only words he heard from her. "You love me?" he echoed, cutting off Fred's rant.  
  
Fred slowly nodded. "You're not upset with me, then?" Gunn pushed back some of the hair that had fallen out of place. "It hurts," he admitted. "But I love you too much to let it stop us."  
  
With a big smile, Fred jumped up and wrapped her arms around his neck. He hugged her back and swung her into the room as Fred squealed. She reached up to kiss him, but Gunn pulled back and looked down at her.  
  
"What is it?" she asked with a furrowed brow.  
  
"Well, I really only caught the 'I love you' part," he started off. "But didn't you say something about realizing something about Wes?"  
  
"I did," she said as he led her over to the bed. "I realized that I didn't just want him back, I wanted…I wanted our family back, you know? Before all of this happened…"  
  
Gunn pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her waist and rubbing his hand up and down her back. "I know, baby," he whispered before kissing the top of her head lightly. "But we're gonna be OK, you know? We always are and we always will be, as long as we're together."  
  
Fred pulled back just enough so her lips found his. This is where she belonged: in Gunn's arms, with him kissing her and telling her that everything would be OK. 


End file.
